Is it a problem that she disagrees? I said my partner respects my individual privacy choices insofar as she doesn’t mock or inhibit them, but I’m certain she doesn’t actually agree. She probably thinks I’m crazy too. I guess for me the important bit is that she doesn’t outwardly project any of that. And in turn, I don’t try to argue the merits of my beliefs with her because I think the arguing itself is often the problematic aspect as opposed to the belief.

When you persist with attempts to convince someone of something that you know they disagree with you completely on, you risk coming off as a lunatic. My partner believes in an afterlife and a God, but since she never attempts to convince me of these beliefs I am happy to just accept them. However, when other people who are religious subtly (or blatantly) try to convert me I feel annoyed and see them as nutjobs.

For most people in my life, I don’t actually know if they share my beliefs. But I also don’t care if they do, because many of those issues aren’t relevant to our relationship. The other day I was in a thread about climate change where Poster A mentioned they had a friend who was a sceptic, and Poster B replied “why are you friends with a fuckwit?”. But the way I see it, climate change is a) something I don’t discuss in detail with many people I know and b) isn’t relevant to what I enjoy about those relationships. So even if I were to discover that a friend from work is a climate sceptic, I wouldn’t actually care. I think that’s one of the keys to maintaining healthy relationships with people. Work out what is actually relevant, so even when other disagreements arise or people inevitably change, you can still appreciate the key aspects of the relationship that are still there and the real reason why you have a connection with this person.