Our local druglord is offering drug protection for kids at schools! Yey! And at $5 bucks, their service is way cheaper than the war on drugs that the cops keep peddling!

Before I can get the kids to their first drug training, I gotta get the truck fixed, and what better way to do that than Joe? Joe may be the drunkest one eyed blind rheumatic paraplegic mute there is, but he’s kept all our cars running pretty good since that one time we accidentally ran him over. The car was making a noise and then it was just fine. Since then we go to Joe’s for regular maintenance. Well, it’s the alley behind Joe’s actually. It might not last, Joe seems to be getting slower and slower and much less talkative. Like the first time we ran him over, he was just blasting his mouth off. Last time he fixed my truck he wasn’t moving around as much and there were more flies around him than usual. Anyway, Joe is the way!

And don’t let Google trick you. They just want more of your data.