removed by mod
trash
fedilink

I wouldn’t say that my partner “doesn’t care”, but they take a much more pragmatic view than I which results in more exposure. In general, we do the following:

  1. To a first approximation, they decide what apps and services they use. It’s not a monarchy. They’ll ask for feedback when comparison shopping, but often the answer is “every dominant ecosystem in this space is terrible, the privacy respecting options don’t meet your requirements, this option is 5% worse and this one is 5% better… glhf”.
  2. For social media accounts that share posts about our nuclear family, we come to broad consensus on the privacy settings and practices. There’s give and take here, but I make space to use dominant sharing apps and they make space to limit our collective exposure within reason. If I have a desire to “harden” the privacy settings on a service, it’s on me to put in the effort to craft the proposed settings changes and get their buy in on the implications.
  3. I have many fewer privacy raiding accounts than they do. I both benefit from transitive access to the junk they sign up for, and pay a cost in my own privacy by association. This just is what it is. The market for partners that align with my own views perfectly is basically zero though, and honestly I probably wouldn’t put up with my shit even if I could find one.
  4. If I can self-host a competitive option for a use-case that I’m happier with… they’ll give it the old college try. But it has to actually be competitive or they’ll fail out of the system and fall back to whatever works for them. If we can figure out what’s not working we’ll sometimes iterate together, but sometimes it’s just not good enough and we go back to something I like worse.

It’s basically like navigating any other conflict in values. You each have to articulate what your goals are, and make meaningful compromise on how to achieve something that preserves the essentials on both sides. As a privacy outlier, sometimes one also needs to be able to hear “I want to do normal shit and not feel bad about it” and accept it. But if we do want to reach for outlier privacy practices in some specific area, it’s on us to break that desire down into actionable steps in realistic directions at a sustainable pace and to not ignore the impacts to our partners of the various tradeoffs we’re proposing. Privacy is often uncomfortable and we need to acknowledge the totality of what we’re asking for when we ask our partners to accommodate our goals there.

pootzapie
link
fedilink
72Y

This is so helpful in a general way, thanks very much for your response and have a great day!

Create a post

A place to discuss privacy and freedom in the digital world.

Privacy has become a very important issue in modern society, with companies and governments constantly abusing their power, more and more people are waking up to the importance of digital privacy.

In this community everyone is welcome to post links and discuss topics related to privacy.

Some Rules

  • Posting a link to a website containing tracking isn’t great, if contents of the website are behind a paywall maybe copy them into the post
  • Don’t promote proprietary software
  • Try to keep things on topic
  • If you have a question, please try searching for previous discussions, maybe it has already been answered
  • Reposts are fine, but should have at least a couple of weeks in between so that the post can reach a new audience
  • Be nice :)

Related communities

much thanks to @gary_host_laptop for the logo design :)

  • 0 users online
  • 124 users / day
  • 1.05K users / week
  • 1.3K users / month
  • 4.58K users / 6 months
  • 1 subscriber
  • 3.91K Posts
  • 98.6K Comments
  • Modlog