If you have a Nextcloud instance, then https://apps.nextcloud.com/apps/phonetrack might work.
Cell phone tracking is common place. If you carry one, you’re being tracked, profiled and having your data correlated with others. The question is whether you support living in a surveillance society. If you do, grab a cell phone and be happy. If not, get rid of it and use alternative communication methods. It’s a simple choice. In my experience, most people choose convenience over privacy.
Nextcloud and Phonetrack maybe? https://github.com/julien-nc/phonetrack
I host my own. I’d say my contacts are split between XMPP and Matrix with many people having both. A lot of business use self hosted XMPP servers too. For example, Cisco communications solutions are based on XMPP.
The issue with free public servers is that you have no accountability. If they go away, or are left unmaintained, there’s nothing you can do about it.
My two cents, host at home, or at an infrastructure provider you pay for service.
There is no such thing as a private cellular device. It does not matter if it’s a smartphone, dumb phone, or simple internet access device.
Cellular devices are location tracked and their owners profiled. All devices have proprietary cellular modems that communicate over the network and have full access to your system. Nothing you do on device will stop that.
The only exception I’ve heard of is from Purism. The Librem 5 claims to separate the base system from the cellular modem, but that still won’t stop the location tracking.
Point blank, you can’t carry a connected cellular device, and have privacy. They are mutually exclusive goals.
It boils down to consent. You should always always get consent before taking an action that includes somebody else. Just because you can see me is not consent to record me. If you don’t have consent, don’t do it. It’s as simple as that.