• 0 Posts
  • 7 Comments
Joined 1Y ago
cake
Cake day: Jun 26, 2023

help-circle
rss

Shut up guys, it’s not funny! I have wyze!

- googling “how to uninvite a vampire” -


Hey! That’s UNCLE daddy Sam to you! Now go apologize to Aunt Mommy-sister.


A large chimp will actually produce something closer to one horsepower than those stupid overclocked horses.

Also, they’ll rip your face off, so win-win


I disagree. I want every interaction to be processed individually and iteratively. I look forward to my stereo turning into a BOOM box.


Shut up and look at the more frames. - article author mumbling - God damn ingrates always complaining just because things don’t work right… 30% more frames is practically 10% less controller!
໒꒰ྀི -᷅ ⤙ -᷄ ꒱ྀི১


It is! That’s what the w in www stands for.

Also a totally real fact: putting the “s” at the end of https:// is what makes it secure and it works on other things as well. Eating a brownie is unsecure and dangerous, but brownies has better security and should be consumed frequently.
Here’s some more examples of other everyday items that you can easily secure:

  • Oreo❎ Oreos☑️
  • Sock❎ Socks☑️
  • Fart❎ Farts☑️
  • Douche Canoe❎ Douche Canoes☑️

Items that can’t be secured without modification:

  • Potato❎ Potatoes☑️❔
  • Hamburger Patty❎ Hamburger Patties☑️❔
  • Fish❎ Fishes☑️❔
  • Serial Killer With a Knife❎ Serial Killer With Some Knives☑️❔

Please note that for every rule, there is an exception. Take Deer for example. Deer can’t be secured. Fuck Deer, the lazy unencrypted bastards…


Tech companies have said scanning messages and end-to-end encryption are fundamentally incompatible.

That’s not a given. Imagine messaging is like you trying to pass a note to a classmate in school. End-to-end encryption is like using a cypher based on your friend’s social security number, crumpling up the note, and then shoving the note up Tommy’s ass for them to deliver it to your buddy. Pretty standard note-passing stuff.

Adding the ability for the government to scan your messages is like being that kid who can’t write without mouthing or whispering what you’re writing. Then the teacher says “got it! Don’t worry, I definitely definitely won’t discuss this in the beak room with the other teachers!” And then gives you a big reassuring wink and a smile while you shove the note up Tommy’s ass.

See how everyone gets to have fun in the second scenario? The best part is knowing that no teacher ever has ever done anything bad. The end.