Even static PNG ads are purpose engineered to grab your attention. People with attention disorders like ADHD and autism don’t have as much attention to give, and when it’s gone we’re debilitated. We need to start considering cognitohazards a legally prosecutable form of violence.

I don’t think a simple misconception can create schizophrenia. It’s a complex neurochemical disease with genetic factors

The police think they’re solving murders.

It’s sad and hilarious that people hear “zero waste” and think “I need to take aaaaall my cans to the recycling center and compost my scraps”, when the waste that is actually destroying the biosphere is the exhaust from your car. If we’re talking about “doing lower waste”, the first priority is to stop driving a car. Recycling bottles and composting scraps is the thing we can afford to do imperfectly. But not cars, ditching cars is the big important thing and the first step to sustainability.

-2028
-wake up feeling sick after a late night of playing video games
-excited to play some halo 2k29
-“xbox on”
-…
-“XBOX ON”
-"Please verify that you are “annon332” by saying “Doritos™ Dew™ it right!”
-“Doritos™ Dew™ it right”
-“ERROR! Please drink a verification can”
-reach into my Doritos™ Mountain Dew™ Halo 2k29™ War Chest
-only a few cans left, needed to verify 14 times last night
-still feeling sick from the 14
-force it down and grumble out “mmmm that really hit the spot”
-xbox does nothing
-i attempt to smile
-“Connecting to verification server”
-…
-“Verification complete!”
-finally
-boot up halo 2k29
-finding multiplayer match…
-“ERROR! User attempting to steal online gameplay!”
-my mother just walked in the room
-“Adding another user to your pass, this will be charged to your credit card. Do you accept?”
-“NO!”
-“Console entering lock state!”
-“to unlock drink verification can”
-last can
-“WARNING, OUT OF VERIFICATION CANS, an order has been shipped and charged to your credit card”
-drink half the can, oh god im going to be sick
-pour the last half out the window
-“PIRACY DETECTED! PLEASE COMPLETE THIS ADVERTISEMENT TO CONTINUE”
-the mountain dew ad plays
-i have to dance for it
-feeling so sick
-makes me sing along
-dancing and singing
-“mountain dew is for me and you”
-throw up on my self
-throw up on my tv and entertainment system
-router shorts
-“ERROR NO CONNECTION! XBOX SHUTTING OFF”
-“PLEASE DRINK VERIFICATION CAN TO CONTINUE”

Why do Americans think that American laws are the same thing as universal concepts?