i don’t know who needs to hear this, but if someone you like tells you that they like people who possess traits that you don’t appear to possess, it is NOT in fact an invitation for you to demonstrate that you might really have those traits, ACTUALLY.

It wasn’t ever REALLY about that one thing; it was about dissuading you. Because they didn’t like YOU. If you ever did manage to score that goal, you’ll immediately discover that the goalposts have moved, because they’d immediately target something else to disqualify you.

Look, what it IS an opportunity for is to save some time: Move on.

Twitter forcing me to stop using Twitter is an incredible galaxy brain suicide maneuver. I can’t wait to see it explode spectacularly in a blaze of stupid right in elon’s face

It’s all good, my irreverent tone didn’t come across right

Morality is just as much of an illusion, doesn’t mean you should be allowed to smash someone’s skull in with a brick. Social constructs and social contract were dreamed up by our species because they work and have utility.

So we better fucking do everything we CAN to sustain the "illusions*.

It’s a transaction:

Your privacy for access.

Quiet part out loud.

Right? EXACTLY!

As much as I like self-deprecating humor, this isn’t really about self-hate because the model isn’t really me and it definitely isn’t an actual person.

However, it can still help me gain better visibility about myself and the qualities of me that are usually invisible to me from the interior perspective.

A diagnostic tool, and a way to perhaps address more effectively those qualities of myself which make me uncomfortable.

Almost everybody has at least one experience of realizing, with horror “am I really like that…? oh … oh no…” and usually it’s in public. Not fun!

The prospect of facing these discrepancies in privacy feels a lot less daunting.

i wish i could take the entirety of everything these companies compiled about me,

dump them into a generative pre-trained transformer language model as training data,

and POTENTIALLY tell me to go fuck myself.

or hey maybe i’ll actually like this simulacrum. unlikely, but not entirely impossible.

or furthermore it might help me get a more accurate grasp of my shortcomings instead of the paranoid hallucinatory delusional shit.

the thing about an LLM is that it just takes a screaming leap based on what’s already there. It WILL generate an output. And if I’m the only one interacting with this predictive model of myself, I can shortcut the process of pussyfooting around until i embrace a snap decision by creating a snap decision instantly AND THEN improving on it. It’ll readily cough up something that I might do, but without the prior investment of emotionally and psychologically interrogating myself for the impulse first, thus freeing up those considerable resources for actual productive insight, refining the initial impulse (or outright defying the initial impulse) using factual information